Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Giant Robot X Lumbang
Giant Robot #61 greeted me from the mailbox yesterday! I absolutely LOVE this magazine. I'm so inspired to make art, make a statement, and even just to live every time I get a new issue.
#61's cover has one of Philip Lumbang's uber-polite bears that can be seen in galleries and on walls all over LA. Inside there is an interview with him by Eric Nakamura. Lumbang talks about inspirations, the original Cartoon Network + Hanna-Barbera, and making art on the street. He also talks about his days at Studio Number One and what it was like working for Shepard Fairey.
Check it out!
"I'm not trying to say that I'm the shit or that my crew's the best. I'm just trying to sprinkle some smiles around the neighborhood."
-Philip Lumbang
for more info: click here! ----> philiplumbang.com
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Taco Bell = Art Theives
Open letter to Taco Bell: You Suck.
One of the biggest things that annoy me that corporations do is try to make money off stolen creativity and hard work. Really irritates me to madness. Being purposefully employed by a horrid corporation is hard enough. However, if you have made the choice to take the difficult, less-traveled road and avoid being one of the zombie suits only to have your art and ideas ripped off, then that blows even bigger time.
Taco Bell has made the decision to do this above-mentioned sucking. Someone in their marketing department thought it would be a good idea to steal the unique, artistic creations of Kidrobot founder Paul Budnitz + artist Tristan Eaton and use it as their own. In an effort to be “cool with the kids,” they have undeniably copied the iconic Dunny to make what they are calling “Bellhedz.”
See? It’s hip and fun because it has a “z” in the name and “head” is misspelled. AND there’s “3”s to replace the “e”s!!! Don’t you want all 32 of these crappy knockoffs?
Even the packaging style is copied.
boo: Taco Bell’s “B3llh3dz”
On September 4th, Kidrobot held a “Death to False Vinyl” protest in NYC. To promote the event, they knocked-off Taco Smell’s promo art using the real deal Dunnys.
This would be like McDonalds selling fake Gucci or Wendy’s trying to get in on the recorded-from-your-theater-seat movie market.
Really Taco Hell? Really?
One of the biggest things that annoy me that corporations do is try to make money off stolen creativity and hard work. Really irritates me to madness. Being purposefully employed by a horrid corporation is hard enough. However, if you have made the choice to take the difficult, less-traveled road and avoid being one of the zombie suits only to have your art and ideas ripped off, then that blows even bigger time.
Taco Bell has made the decision to do this above-mentioned sucking. Someone in their marketing department thought it would be a good idea to steal the unique, artistic creations of Kidrobot founder Paul Budnitz + artist Tristan Eaton and use it as their own. In an effort to be “cool with the kids,” they have undeniably copied the iconic Dunny to make what they are calling “Bellhedz.”
See? It’s hip and fun because it has a “z” in the name and “head” is misspelled. AND there’s “3”s to replace the “e”s!!! Don’t you want all 32 of these crappy knockoffs?
Even the packaging style is copied.
boo: Taco Bell’s “B3llh3dz”
On September 4th, Kidrobot held a “Death to False Vinyl” protest in NYC. To promote the event, they knocked-off Taco Smell’s promo art using the real deal Dunnys.
This would be like McDonalds selling fake Gucci or Wendy’s trying to get in on the recorded-from-your-theater-seat movie market.
Really Taco Hell? Really?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
choose-your-own-adventure family
Tuesday everyone left me. and did I panic?
yes I did.
seriously though...
I had an awesome extended weekend with two friends (who wish to remain anonymous) and my love. We had fun catching up and cooking and planning our next meet-up (complete with costumes ...more on that in Oct).
We went shopping at Ikea. They don’t have one in their city. It was a touch-everything good time had by all. I was scolded for getting into one of the beds. Later in the parking lot, a woman rolling forward in her SUV without looking tried to run me over. She got the “wtf?” look while my companions laughed their asses off by the car.
On Monday we went to an Indian restaurant with our friend Maryanne. I really have come to love Indian food. One of my favorite things to do is eat out with friends. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter where (within reason). It’s really about the conversation and connection to great friends.
I savored the last moments with these friends Monday night.
Then Tuesday morning came, and one at a time everyone left me. You know that saying about not knowing what you have until it’s gone? Well, it’s not exactly like that. I’ve always appreciated these very special humans in my life. I did, however, have some things to think about for the rest of Tuesday.
So here it is:
I’ve come to realize that there are advantages to being rejected by your biological family. You get to choose your own! Rather, sometimes they choose you. Life becomes a “choose your own adventure” of sorts. Yes, there is a bright side to your family telling you to go to hell every time you speak to them.
For my “birthday” my parents gave me the first present they have given me in probably 15 years. It’s a lovely (faux) leather Bible and it’s really a gift to themselves. This book I received in August. My birthday is in April. At least the got the first letter of the month correct. Inside were inscriptions with instructions to read and learn how to fix my broken soul.
My father, who has beaten his offspring to the point of broken bones, left me this gem: “Sin will keep you from this book, but this book will keep you from sin.” I wonder if he thought of this book as he punched me in the face in front of the church when I was 15 then left me there bloody and swollen.
My mother wrote, “I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth.” This is coming from the woman who lies every time she is asked by the police or friends about things that have gone on in her home. This is the same woman who couldn’t stop gossiping and spreading hate to save her life. (I’d say “for a million dollars,” but I know that she is definitely motivated by money.)
So truth it is, but I’m sure it isn’t this brand of truth they were wanting. Still, it’s truth, although I’m actually keeping it very mild for the purposes of this blog.
Don’t want to go too far.
My point in this is that I’ve been given the best gift from the universe. I’ve been given the opportunity to choose a custom family of my own. I realized this standing with our visitors in our kitchen. We were assembly-lining the jalepeños for frying: I prepared the sliced peppers, then another put on the egg and panko, while another fried them. Someone was also making sauces for dipping. In the middle, I was struck with this thought, "THIS is my family!"
I have an amazing group of friends. I am grateful for the fun, intelligent, grounded, talented, supportive, and forgiving peeps in my life.
My choose-your-own-adventure family has never left me bloody on the ground. We have never told each other to go to hell. We would never tell someone they are a failure at life. We don’t love conditionally. We do things for each other that help us get through this life.
I love my modern new-fangled family
and they actually do love me.
yes I did.
seriously though...
I had an awesome extended weekend with two friends (who wish to remain anonymous) and my love. We had fun catching up and cooking and planning our next meet-up (complete with costumes ...more on that in Oct).
We went shopping at Ikea. They don’t have one in their city. It was a touch-everything good time had by all. I was scolded for getting into one of the beds. Later in the parking lot, a woman rolling forward in her SUV without looking tried to run me over. She got the “wtf?” look while my companions laughed their asses off by the car.
On Monday we went to an Indian restaurant with our friend Maryanne. I really have come to love Indian food. One of my favorite things to do is eat out with friends. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter where (within reason). It’s really about the conversation and connection to great friends.
I savored the last moments with these friends Monday night.
Then Tuesday morning came, and one at a time everyone left me. You know that saying about not knowing what you have until it’s gone? Well, it’s not exactly like that. I’ve always appreciated these very special humans in my life. I did, however, have some things to think about for the rest of Tuesday.
So here it is:
I’ve come to realize that there are advantages to being rejected by your biological family. You get to choose your own! Rather, sometimes they choose you. Life becomes a “choose your own adventure” of sorts. Yes, there is a bright side to your family telling you to go to hell every time you speak to them.
For my “birthday” my parents gave me the first present they have given me in probably 15 years. It’s a lovely (faux) leather Bible and it’s really a gift to themselves. This book I received in August. My birthday is in April. At least the got the first letter of the month correct. Inside were inscriptions with instructions to read and learn how to fix my broken soul.
My father, who has beaten his offspring to the point of broken bones, left me this gem: “Sin will keep you from this book, but this book will keep you from sin.” I wonder if he thought of this book as he punched me in the face in front of the church when I was 15 then left me there bloody and swollen.
My mother wrote, “I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth.” This is coming from the woman who lies every time she is asked by the police or friends about things that have gone on in her home. This is the same woman who couldn’t stop gossiping and spreading hate to save her life. (I’d say “for a million dollars,” but I know that she is definitely motivated by money.)
So truth it is, but I’m sure it isn’t this brand of truth they were wanting. Still, it’s truth, although I’m actually keeping it very mild for the purposes of this blog.
Don’t want to go too far.
My point in this is that I’ve been given the best gift from the universe. I’ve been given the opportunity to choose a custom family of my own. I realized this standing with our visitors in our kitchen. We were assembly-lining the jalepeños for frying: I prepared the sliced peppers, then another put on the egg and panko, while another fried them. Someone was also making sauces for dipping. In the middle, I was struck with this thought, "THIS is my family!"
I have an amazing group of friends. I am grateful for the fun, intelligent, grounded, talented, supportive, and forgiving peeps in my life.
My choose-your-own-adventure family has never left me bloody on the ground. We have never told each other to go to hell. We would never tell someone they are a failure at life. We don’t love conditionally. We do things for each other that help us get through this life.
I love my modern new-fangled family
and they actually do love me.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
i know
Fiona Apple should be in the encyclopedia under the heading New Blues Masters. Long before Amy Winehouse and Corinne Bailey Rae hit the scene, Fiona was cranking out the smoke and piano sound. She made room for them to come along and emulate the old school jazz but in a super current fashion.
I love them all truthfully. There’s something about that music that knows how I feel on my bluest Mondays and grayest Sundays. It gets inside my head and reads my mind and tells me what I’m trying to say.
The first time I experienced that clairvoyant music I was listening to Charlie Brown records as a child. From those I discovered Vince Guaraldi, the musician that gave Charlie Brown and the gang it’s special character. The Vince Guaraldi Trio made music that made dialogue obsolete. I hear that music and see Charlie’s frustrated face and I know how his soul feels.
What amazes me is that 20 years before I was born, Vince Guaraldi was making music that still has that effect on me. How did he read my mind and know my moods so many years ago?
That’s how I’ve always felt about Fiona Apple as well. The only difference with her is she speaks the new language. Modern times have brought women to the writer’s table, and this blues singer doesn’t hold back language or subject. It’s a perfect combination of the sound I love and rebellion.
Although she is often remembered as part of the rash of girly acts that appeared in second half of the nineties, her sophistication and talent set her far apart. Her second album title sums up her individuality and early maturity:
When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring
There's no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo, you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter, cuz you'll know that you're right
I believe it may hold the record for longest album title ever.
The last track on this album is a song that allmusic.com calls “a modern standard.” I agree. It’s one of my favorites. Even if sometimes it does leave me crying on the floor...
So be it, I'm your crowbar
If that’s what I am so far
Until you get out of this mess
And I will pretend
That I don’t know of your sins
Until you are ready to confess
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
And you can use my skin
To bury your secrets in
And I will settle you down
And at my own suggestion,
I will ask no questions
While I do my thing in the background
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
Baby-I can't help you out, while she's still around.
So for the time being, I'm being patient
And amidst this bitterness
If you'll just consider this -even if it don’t make sense
all the time- give it time
And when the crowd becomes your burden
And you've early closed your curtains,
I'll wait by the backstage door
While you try to find the lines to speak your mind
And pry it open, hoping for an encore
And if it gets too late, for me to wait
For you to find you love me, and tell me so
It's ok, don’t need to say it...
I Know by Fiona Apple
I love them all truthfully. There’s something about that music that knows how I feel on my bluest Mondays and grayest Sundays. It gets inside my head and reads my mind and tells me what I’m trying to say.
The first time I experienced that clairvoyant music I was listening to Charlie Brown records as a child. From those I discovered Vince Guaraldi, the musician that gave Charlie Brown and the gang it’s special character. The Vince Guaraldi Trio made music that made dialogue obsolete. I hear that music and see Charlie’s frustrated face and I know how his soul feels.
What amazes me is that 20 years before I was born, Vince Guaraldi was making music that still has that effect on me. How did he read my mind and know my moods so many years ago?
That’s how I’ve always felt about Fiona Apple as well. The only difference with her is she speaks the new language. Modern times have brought women to the writer’s table, and this blues singer doesn’t hold back language or subject. It’s a perfect combination of the sound I love and rebellion.
Although she is often remembered as part of the rash of girly acts that appeared in second half of the nineties, her sophistication and talent set her far apart. Her second album title sums up her individuality and early maturity:
When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring
There's no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo, you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter, cuz you'll know that you're right
I believe it may hold the record for longest album title ever.
The last track on this album is a song that allmusic.com calls “a modern standard.” I agree. It’s one of my favorites. Even if sometimes it does leave me crying on the floor...
So be it, I'm your crowbar
If that’s what I am so far
Until you get out of this mess
And I will pretend
That I don’t know of your sins
Until you are ready to confess
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
And you can use my skin
To bury your secrets in
And I will settle you down
And at my own suggestion,
I will ask no questions
While I do my thing in the background
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
Baby-I can't help you out, while she's still around.
So for the time being, I'm being patient
And amidst this bitterness
If you'll just consider this -even if it don’t make sense
all the time- give it time
And when the crowd becomes your burden
And you've early closed your curtains,
I'll wait by the backstage door
While you try to find the lines to speak your mind
And pry it open, hoping for an encore
And if it gets too late, for me to wait
For you to find you love me, and tell me so
It's ok, don’t need to say it...
I Know by Fiona Apple
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
inauguration tea
Yesterday, on Inauguration Day, I went for my daily iced green tea. I was greeted with this inauguration address quote:
“My fellow citizens, our nation is poised for greatness. We must do what we know is right and do it with all our might. Let history say of us, “These were golden years – when the American Revolution was reborn, when freedom gained new life, when America reached for her best.”
It seems full of hope. Can you guess who spoke these words?
Ronald Reagan Inaugural Address on January 21, 1985
“My fellow citizens, our nation is poised for greatness. We must do what we know is right and do it with all our might. Let history say of us, “These were golden years – when the American Revolution was reborn, when freedom gained new life, when America reached for her best.”
It seems full of hope. Can you guess who spoke these words?
Ronald Reagan Inaugural Address on January 21, 1985
Friday, January 9, 2009
sophophobia
...and that’s when i realized it. my whole life i have been afraid. and i’ve let it control me. not just in the normal way of everyday self-protective fear,
but real, actual, paralyzing
Fear.
I had another reminder recently of how I let the fear control me. My Freddy and I were walking in Tempe. We had been looking forward to seeing The Lion King. It was going to be a fun night. Before the show we wanted to get something to eat. So we walked from ASU Gammage parking lot to the area with restaurants. As we were crossing Mill Ave to go to P.F.Chang’s we met a group of folks walking toward us in the cross walk. As they passed, a male in the group said, “Fags.”
My heart stopped. The familiar coldness of panic fell across my skin causing my hair to stand and my throat to lock. My usual witty defenses failed me. I stared straight ahead. “Just keep walking,” I told Self. I couldn’t look at Fred. I couldn’t let him see my frailty. I cursed my vanity that led me to wear this beautiful orange scarf. I wanted to put it in the closest trashcan. “Its not that fucking cold you stupid ass.”
We walked along a little further in silence. I tried to reach for Freddy’s hand but my body wouldn’t allow it.
Then I felt a new temperature rise in the previously frozen body.
Anger.
and I let it fly
right there on Mill Ave.
I cursed the day I compromised and patronized a Fucking Red State! I said I never would after eight years of Bush. I cursed the state of Arizona. This wasn’t the first time we had heard this word here. The last time it was the parking lot at Sprouts. I cursed the inhabitants of Phoenix. I cursed their racism and bigotry. I cursed the elitists. I cursed their obsession with retail. Retail does not equal culture. Therefore Phoenix has no culture. The place is just one giant mall, a very dry mall. I hate malls.
I started making plans to get out.
I was mad at Self for being afraid and hurting others I care about. I have to find a way to never let it happen again.
The better side of epiphany:
I went skydiving a couple times with my brother in 2007. It took a lot of talk from my brother who is a genius at talking anyone into anything in a very practical manner. It seemed an innocent conversation about facing fears and not letting them control your ability to experience new things. We were talking figuratively. I am a genius at talking about the hypothetical. I did not realize I would be called upon to back up my beliefs with action. If I had, the conversation would have gone quite differently I assure you.
Instead, I am now on an extremely noisy plane that is struggling against the force of the straight up incline to the sky.
What I was most aware of was being free. It wasn’t that I was 15,000 ft. above the earth, although that definitely was a big part of it. More than that, I was free of myself. I had head tripped myself into jumping from a plane! It meant letting go of the fear, of every reason that something could go wrong, & of control. A freedom came from having no attachments, from having nothing to lose.
I let go and plummeted to the earth at 120 mph. I took the instructor’s advice and enjoyed the view. Not many people get to see this amazing earth from this angle. I only got to see it because I made Fear my bitch. I starred it in the eye, acknowledged it, and (with encouragement from my best friend) jumped.
I would not have had this unforgettable experience if I had let fear determine what I do.
So
As of right now, I’m putting the rest of Fear on notice. You’ve been acknowledged. I know who you are. I’ll recognize your freeze when I feel it.
Then,
one at a time, I will pass you. I will leave you at the rear:
fear of dying
fear of hell
fear of social stigma
fear of heights
fear that people can read my thoughts
fear of being beaten
fear of losing friendships
fear of sleeping
fear of not being good enough
fear of failure
fear of being ordinary
fear of losing my love
fear of being cheated on
fear of being a pariah
fear of being a monster
fear of letting people down
fear of not being liked
fear of showing I’m crazy
fear of being creatively imperfect
“...a life lived in fear is a life half lived...”
Fran in Baz Luhrman’s Strictly Ballroom
but real, actual, paralyzing
Fear.
I had another reminder recently of how I let the fear control me. My Freddy and I were walking in Tempe. We had been looking forward to seeing The Lion King. It was going to be a fun night. Before the show we wanted to get something to eat. So we walked from ASU Gammage parking lot to the area with restaurants. As we were crossing Mill Ave to go to P.F.Chang’s we met a group of folks walking toward us in the cross walk. As they passed, a male in the group said, “Fags.”
My heart stopped. The familiar coldness of panic fell across my skin causing my hair to stand and my throat to lock. My usual witty defenses failed me. I stared straight ahead. “Just keep walking,” I told Self. I couldn’t look at Fred. I couldn’t let him see my frailty. I cursed my vanity that led me to wear this beautiful orange scarf. I wanted to put it in the closest trashcan. “Its not that fucking cold you stupid ass.”
We walked along a little further in silence. I tried to reach for Freddy’s hand but my body wouldn’t allow it.
Then I felt a new temperature rise in the previously frozen body.
Anger.
and I let it fly
right there on Mill Ave.
I cursed the day I compromised and patronized a Fucking Red State! I said I never would after eight years of Bush. I cursed the state of Arizona. This wasn’t the first time we had heard this word here. The last time it was the parking lot at Sprouts. I cursed the inhabitants of Phoenix. I cursed their racism and bigotry. I cursed the elitists. I cursed their obsession with retail. Retail does not equal culture. Therefore Phoenix has no culture. The place is just one giant mall, a very dry mall. I hate malls.
I started making plans to get out.
I was mad at Self for being afraid and hurting others I care about. I have to find a way to never let it happen again.
The better side of epiphany:
I went skydiving a couple times with my brother in 2007. It took a lot of talk from my brother who is a genius at talking anyone into anything in a very practical manner. It seemed an innocent conversation about facing fears and not letting them control your ability to experience new things. We were talking figuratively. I am a genius at talking about the hypothetical. I did not realize I would be called upon to back up my beliefs with action. If I had, the conversation would have gone quite differently I assure you.
Instead, I am now on an extremely noisy plane that is struggling against the force of the straight up incline to the sky.
What I was most aware of was being free. It wasn’t that I was 15,000 ft. above the earth, although that definitely was a big part of it. More than that, I was free of myself. I had head tripped myself into jumping from a plane! It meant letting go of the fear, of every reason that something could go wrong, & of control. A freedom came from having no attachments, from having nothing to lose.
I let go and plummeted to the earth at 120 mph. I took the instructor’s advice and enjoyed the view. Not many people get to see this amazing earth from this angle. I only got to see it because I made Fear my bitch. I starred it in the eye, acknowledged it, and (with encouragement from my best friend) jumped.
I would not have had this unforgettable experience if I had let fear determine what I do.
So
As of right now, I’m putting the rest of Fear on notice. You’ve been acknowledged. I know who you are. I’ll recognize your freeze when I feel it.
Then,
one at a time, I will pass you. I will leave you at the rear:
fear of dying
fear of hell
fear of social stigma
fear of heights
fear that people can read my thoughts
fear of being beaten
fear of losing friendships
fear of sleeping
fear of not being good enough
fear of failure
fear of being ordinary
fear of losing my love
fear of being cheated on
fear of being a pariah
fear of being a monster
fear of letting people down
fear of not being liked
fear of showing I’m crazy
fear of being creatively imperfect
“...a life lived in fear is a life half lived...”
Fran in Baz Luhrman’s Strictly Ballroom
Monday, August 4, 2008
gold for the price of silver
"If it takes control of your body and soul, embrace it. If it makes you cry or leaves you wondering why, don't turn around, face it. But do you turn cold if they promised you gold for the price of silver. If it's chemically made by people you hate, pinch your arm, see if you're still there."
i heard this song at work and really liked the sound. then i went home and looked up the lyrics as i always do. that's when i fell in love with it.
the 1st two lines seem to speak to a philosophy of living that i used to be much better at putting into practice. it's simply being fearless and the hardest principle to walk.
at the same time you have to stick to your principles as the next two lines say. don't be a sucker for something that's too good to be true. and don't make deals that compromise your ideals.
if you can figure out how to balance these, fearlessness and principles, let me know how. i'm open to suggestions.
the song continues
"...let's go and watch the sun rise. Let your heart run along to the rhythm of your song. Everything you want is what I got to give you. You just have to let yourself come with me now. Everything you want is what I got to give you. There's no time to hesitate, come with me now. Let's go and watch the sun rise over London bridge or the Golden Gate..."
"Gold for the Price of Silver" from the album Versus by Kings of Convenience
i heard this song at work and really liked the sound. then i went home and looked up the lyrics as i always do. that's when i fell in love with it.
the 1st two lines seem to speak to a philosophy of living that i used to be much better at putting into practice. it's simply being fearless and the hardest principle to walk.
at the same time you have to stick to your principles as the next two lines say. don't be a sucker for something that's too good to be true. and don't make deals that compromise your ideals.
if you can figure out how to balance these, fearlessness and principles, let me know how. i'm open to suggestions.
the song continues
"...let's go and watch the sun rise. Let your heart run along to the rhythm of your song. Everything you want is what I got to give you. You just have to let yourself come with me now. Everything you want is what I got to give you. There's no time to hesitate, come with me now. Let's go and watch the sun rise over London bridge or the Golden Gate..."
"Gold for the Price of Silver" from the album Versus by Kings of Convenience
Friday, August 1, 2008
las madres
My good friend Nick let me borrow a movie he's been telling me about since I met him. The movie is Spanglish. It's so cute and so funny.
Towards the end of the film Deborah (Téa Leoni) tries to blame her mother (Cloris Leachman) for her marital problems and the reason she is having an affair. To which her mother replies, "Lately honey, your low self-esteem is just good common sense."
You see, maybe the daughter has had some influences that sent her down a not-so-positive way of living and thinking. However, one must still take responsibility for one's own actions.
Sometimes you have to be shown how awful you are and what you're going to lose in order to realize the necessity of change.
Hopefully it won't be too late.
still blaming her mother...
"Deborah: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years so that I'm in this fix because of you, it is your fault and I just needed that moment for us to build on.
Evelyn: You have a solid point dear... but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you."
Spanglish is really a look at three very different mother-daughter relationships. Mothers influence daughters who grow to become mothers who influence daughters. It's a cycle that continues until the right mother is able to have strength enough to teach her daughter what"s really important in life.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
fear of sleep
i can’t sleep!!!
i’ve tried everything...
-caffeine
-television
-loud music
-exercise
-freaking out about the future
-worrying about career
-regretting the past
nothing works. just can’t seem to do the sleep thing tonight:
“paranoid, you have no idea.
listen to all the voices and tell me what you hear. is it right or wrong just to sit and wait? you push your body to the knife but it feels as if you hesitate.
gotta get away lover, just a place to crawl away. is this a love or just a fear? what if there were traces shots of different faces follow me...
i keep you close enough to know that i am never alone. i disappear within the night though i act as if i'm coming home. are we just creatures of the night running to the light? so what if it turns us on? is it right or wrong?
is it right or wrong?
gotta get away...
love is a word we abuse with the things we say. time keeps a changing the rules to the games we play. dreams that awaken the fear that we're left in doubt. tears that come rolling and rolling and rolling down...
you wanted it all
you wanted it all
what keeps me broken in this world?
...if i fall asleep tonight will it all remain the same?”
"Fear of Sleep" by The Magic Numbers from Undecided EP
i’ve tried everything...
-caffeine
-television
-loud music
-exercise
-freaking out about the future
-worrying about career
-regretting the past
nothing works. just can’t seem to do the sleep thing tonight:
“paranoid, you have no idea.
listen to all the voices and tell me what you hear. is it right or wrong just to sit and wait? you push your body to the knife but it feels as if you hesitate.
gotta get away lover, just a place to crawl away. is this a love or just a fear? what if there were traces shots of different faces follow me...
i keep you close enough to know that i am never alone. i disappear within the night though i act as if i'm coming home. are we just creatures of the night running to the light? so what if it turns us on? is it right or wrong?
is it right or wrong?
gotta get away...
love is a word we abuse with the things we say. time keeps a changing the rules to the games we play. dreams that awaken the fear that we're left in doubt. tears that come rolling and rolling and rolling down...
you wanted it all
you wanted it all
what keeps me broken in this world?
...if i fall asleep tonight will it all remain the same?”
"Fear of Sleep" by The Magic Numbers from Undecided EP
Sunday, May 25, 2008
McBoyToys... rrrrowr
ran across this picture on one of my favorite blogs consumerist.com in a post called Unhappy Meals:
you should check out this site. i love it. it's a place to vent all your customer service issues. (or make you happy that the only thing that happened to you at Home Depot was the surly service desk clerk) they even have a handy guide to fighting back once you've been wronged in the consumer unfriendly world... and you will be!
enjoy
you should check out this site. i love it. it's a place to vent all your customer service issues. (or make you happy that the only thing that happened to you at Home Depot was the surly service desk clerk) they even have a handy guide to fighting back once you've been wronged in the consumer unfriendly world... and you will be!
enjoy
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
random iPod moment #42
took a right to the end of the line where no one ever goes. ended up on a broken train with nobody I know. but the pain and the longing's the same. where the dying now i’m lost and i’m screaming for help.
there is an answer to the darkest times. it’s clear we don’t understand but the last thing on my mind is to leave you. i believe that we’re in this together. don’t scream – there are so many roads left...
relax, take it easy...
there is an answer to the darkest times. it’s clear we don’t understand but the last thing on my mind is to leave you. i believe that we’re in this together. don’t scream – there are so many roads left...
relax, take it easy...
"Relax, Take it Easy" from the disc Life in Cartoon Motion by Mika
Monday, April 21, 2008
bridget and the winds of change
there’s a scene in Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason where Bridget chucks Mark and is then seen walking in the streets of blue London with the city breeze moving through her hair. it reminded me of the night i discovered my ex was cheating on me...i had gotten off work at 1am and waited for the bus and rode it home from the northside to downtown. (anyone that lives in Chicago knows that last sentence is at least an hour long.) exhausted i finally arrived home at my Marina City apartment (the "corncob" buildings)
and went to check my e-mail. long story short i discovered online activity by my “partner” that could mean only one thing. i began to investigate further. and yep, it was a sure thing. there was no other way to look at the explicit details. he was hooking up with people online. there was even an update that he would be visiting in North Carolina if anyone there was interested.i felt sick.
i put my coat back on. went down the elevator and into the quiet street. i couldn’t see anything. my brain was in shock. i remember the wind felt so good on my ears which felt like they were going to explode.
anyway. when i saw Bridget Jones walking in the city wind, i was taken back to that night. there’s something about that Chicago wind that turns down the streets without a signal and embraces you when no one else can possibly comfort your mind. it drowns out the world until all you can hear is its resilience. then it picks you up and you feel as if you could let it carry you at its will to the next place.
that night as i walked around Chicago's Gold Coast neighborhood until the wind brought the sun, i learned to listen. the wind told me so much. it told me things were going to be all right. it told me a chapter was concluding, and another was poised on the next page ready to reveal its events. but in no way is it the end of the story. it told me i was going to have to do things that were going to be difficult and things that were going to be unpleasant. it would be one of those moments i never relish where your going to have to be mature and make adult decisions.the next two weeks were the hardest of that life. i couldn’t look him in the eye. i couldn’t say his name. i felt scared and empty as i faked my way through kisses and dinners. but i had to secretly plan to go. i knew that as soon as he knew i was going to leave, he would kick me to the street. you see, he had met secretly with our landlord so he could renew the lease on his own and have the power. he was that kind of person.
and he did.
when i did have the conversation with him that ended our six years together, it was sweet relief. there was nothing he could do to keep me. he tried
but
i had already made the firm decision in my head.
i had no commitment to our landlord.
i had a place to go.
i was free.
finally.
that night that i walked around Gold Coast until five in the morning with no other but the wind, i took a deep breath
for the first time
in a very long time.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
you go! it’s your birthday
i really had a wonderful birthday on wednesday. thank you to all my friends who sent me messages with warm wishes! love you guys!
when i got home form work freddy surprised me with yummy little cakes! i really love cake. i’ve always wanted to eat cake until i am big as a house.
but i can only dream.
they had cute little dinosaur and toy car sprinkles...
what can i say? freddy knows me! and i think he may just love me.
(sucker.) =D
my brother sam sent me this tee that is perfectly me.
it’s called “Global Warming Isn’t So Bad.” designed by LouLou + Tummie! it’s from shirt.woot.com they have a limited edition shirt everyday. you should check them out.
besides having to work that day, i had a really great birthday. thanks to you, my many fans. i love you guys!!!
when i got home form work freddy surprised me with yummy little cakes! i really love cake. i’ve always wanted to eat cake until i am big as a house.
but i can only dream.
the cakes were soooo cute!
they had cute little dinosaur and toy car sprinkles...
and the cutest paper cups...
and rainbow stars!!!
what can i say? freddy knows me! and i think he may just love me.
(sucker.) =D
my brother sam sent me this tee that is perfectly me.
it’s called “Global Warming Isn’t So Bad.” designed by LouLou + Tummie! it’s from shirt.woot.com they have a limited edition shirt everyday. you should check them out.
besides having to work that day, i had a really great birthday. thanks to you, my many fans. i love you guys!!!
i ♡ new york
So I just watched Saturday Night Live from the past Saturday and I couldn’t keep from passing on this quote. I love The Weekend Update. To me, it’s the best part of SNL.
It was at its best when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were doing co-anchors. They have to be one of the best duos that SNL has seen. They played off one another really well. The show was at a high point when Tina Fey was on the writing staff.
Anyway, I got carried away on that.
As you know, Seth Meyers now co-chairs with Amy Poehler. Tonight they were going along on there usual political and “stupid people” news when Amy totally took by surprise with this story. lmao!
“In an interview in Vanity Fair magazine Madonna criticizes New York City saying that, ‘It doesn’t feel alive, crackling with that synergy it had in the 80’s.’
Said New York City, ‘Right back atcha!’”
It was at its best when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were doing co-anchors. They have to be one of the best duos that SNL has seen. They played off one another really well. The show was at a high point when Tina Fey was on the writing staff.
Anyway, I got carried away on that.
As you know, Seth Meyers now co-chairs with Amy Poehler. Tonight they were going along on there usual political and “stupid people” news when Amy totally took by surprise with this story. lmao!
“In an interview in Vanity Fair magazine Madonna criticizes New York City saying that, ‘It doesn’t feel alive, crackling with that synergy it had in the 80’s.’
Said New York City, ‘Right back atcha!’”
Sunday, April 6, 2008
one thing leads to another
This is another hot adventure tale from the life of david-andrew about one thing that becomes another thing entirely. Why hot? Because I’m in it, duh!
It starts this morning about 3am. I’m sitting awake because the neighbor couple that moved in last month are shouting at each other yet again. I never can distinguish what the man is saying, but the woman has a few choice phrases she says all the time. Here are some examples: “Don’t corner me!!!” “Oww you’re hurting me!” “Oh you’re sick. You’re really sick.”
Well last night was a special night. Accompanying the yelling, I hear a screeching truck on the road in front of the house. So I got up out of bed and went into the guest bedroom window in the front of the house. Their red(neck) truck is parked down the street and they are running up and down the street yelling at each other.
I had grabbed my phone and now tried to dial 311, which does not work in Phoenix apparently. I went to my computer to look up the non-emergency number for the police. I found it, but couldn’t decide whether I needed emergency or non-emergency. Finally I decided that the police wouldn’t do anything anyway. So I resolved to call the HOA on Monday and just get them fined or kicked out.
Because I was up so late, I got up a little later than usual. Thank God I didn’t have to work! As a result, I missed the cat’s daily 5am wake up call for food.
When I did get up, the cat just stayed on the bed. I thought that was odd that he didn’t immediately run over to his bowl and start crying. Well, I’m not going to complain about no noise, so I just sat on the couch for a while and caught up on some Tivo.
Around noon thirty, my honey called me and I chatted with him while doing my usual “phone pacing” around the house. I wandered into the bedroom.
“OMG! WTF!?!!”
I know Fred thinks I planned this for while he was on the phone, but I was shocked by what I saw. I’m guessing the cat was mad. He had pooped and peed all over the bed. “Dear God, please help me not murder a cat today!”
I was livid
and out of laundry detergent. So I had to drive to Target as this was not the kind of laundry that can wait until next week. After picking up the detergent and a few other necessities (chocolate), I got back into the car and started home. I realized I wasn’t ready to go back to the cat, and the mess, and the yelling psychos, and the agoraphobia. So when I turned up Cave Creek Road toward my house, instead of stopping at home, I just keep right on going.
Not sure where I was headed, I knew that it would be beautiful to drive up the hills into the towns of Carefree or Cave Creek. So I did. It was great. I put the windows down and soaked up the sun and let the wind mess my hairs. I felt so free.
But this was not the usual sleepy drive into Cave Creek. The difference was immediately made apparent for surrounding me was bikers on huge motorbikes in all directions. Above my head there was a banner across the width of the road that said “Fiesta Days Rodeo.” What had I stumbled upon?
Everywhere I looked there were burly men in leather, muscles under white tanks tops, between their legs the rumbling power of their monster-sized motorbikes. I passed the Horny Toad Restaurant. The parking lot was filled to bursting with bikes.
“Maybe I could just pop in for a quick drink. Just one.”
Oh god, no! That would be a disaster. Not to mention the end of my life. I obviously didn’t
belong in this group. Good thing my dark shades concealed my popping eyes. Fear won over temptation, and I quickly made a U-turn at the Lazy Lizard. Still engulfed by unfettered male-ness, I made a beeline for the valley. The closer I got to the edge of the hill, the bikes thinned out. I watched as Cave Creek got smaller in the rearview mirror, scanning for any sign I was followed. Relieved, I saw no one.
“BRRRROOMBRRRMMM!
My head snapped to the right. I forgot the blind spot! The dreaded blind spot! I’ve been found out!!! Equal parts scared and excited, I questioned the sanity of the sexy danger fantasy.
Just then, the bikes pulled around me in an eruption of speed and noise...
...and disappeared.
Wow! That’s was just adventure enough for today. Now I can go back to the cat, and the wee hours, and the laundry, and the writing.
and the living.
It starts this morning about 3am. I’m sitting awake because the neighbor couple that moved in last month are shouting at each other yet again. I never can distinguish what the man is saying, but the woman has a few choice phrases she says all the time. Here are some examples: “Don’t corner me!!!” “Oww you’re hurting me!” “Oh you’re sick. You’re really sick.”
Well last night was a special night. Accompanying the yelling, I hear a screeching truck on the road in front of the house. So I got up out of bed and went into the guest bedroom window in the front of the house. Their red(neck) truck is parked down the street and they are running up and down the street yelling at each other.
I had grabbed my phone and now tried to dial 311, which does not work in Phoenix apparently. I went to my computer to look up the non-emergency number for the police. I found it, but couldn’t decide whether I needed emergency or non-emergency. Finally I decided that the police wouldn’t do anything anyway. So I resolved to call the HOA on Monday and just get them fined or kicked out.
Because I was up so late, I got up a little later than usual. Thank God I didn’t have to work! As a result, I missed the cat’s daily 5am wake up call for food.
When I did get up, the cat just stayed on the bed. I thought that was odd that he didn’t immediately run over to his bowl and start crying. Well, I’m not going to complain about no noise, so I just sat on the couch for a while and caught up on some Tivo.
Around noon thirty, my honey called me and I chatted with him while doing my usual “phone pacing” around the house. I wandered into the bedroom.
“OMG! WTF!?!!”
I know Fred thinks I planned this for while he was on the phone, but I was shocked by what I saw. I’m guessing the cat was mad. He had pooped and peed all over the bed. “Dear God, please help me not murder a cat today!”
I was livid
and out of laundry detergent. So I had to drive to Target as this was not the kind of laundry that can wait until next week. After picking up the detergent and a few other necessities (chocolate), I got back into the car and started home. I realized I wasn’t ready to go back to the cat, and the mess, and the yelling psychos, and the agoraphobia. So when I turned up Cave Creek Road toward my house, instead of stopping at home, I just keep right on going.
Not sure where I was headed, I knew that it would be beautiful to drive up the hills into the towns of Carefree or Cave Creek. So I did. It was great. I put the windows down and soaked up the sun and let the wind mess my hairs. I felt so free.
But this was not the usual sleepy drive into Cave Creek. The difference was immediately made apparent for surrounding me was bikers on huge motorbikes in all directions. Above my head there was a banner across the width of the road that said “Fiesta Days Rodeo.” What had I stumbled upon?
Everywhere I looked there were burly men in leather, muscles under white tanks tops, between their legs the rumbling power of their monster-sized motorbikes. I passed the Horny Toad Restaurant. The parking lot was filled to bursting with bikes.“Maybe I could just pop in for a quick drink. Just one.”
Oh god, no! That would be a disaster. Not to mention the end of my life. I obviously didn’t
belong in this group. Good thing my dark shades concealed my popping eyes. Fear won over temptation, and I quickly made a U-turn at the Lazy Lizard. Still engulfed by unfettered male-ness, I made a beeline for the valley. The closer I got to the edge of the hill, the bikes thinned out. I watched as Cave Creek got smaller in the rearview mirror, scanning for any sign I was followed. Relieved, I saw no one.“BRRRROOMBRRRMMM!
My head snapped to the right. I forgot the blind spot! The dreaded blind spot! I’ve been found out!!! Equal parts scared and excited, I questioned the sanity of the sexy danger fantasy.
Just then, the bikes pulled around me in an eruption of speed and noise...
...and disappeared.
Wow! That’s was just adventure enough for today. Now I can go back to the cat, and the wee hours, and the laundry, and the writing.
and the living.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
in bed
so have you ever played that game where you have to say “in bed” at the end of your fortune out of the cookie? i guess some people say “between the sheets” too. either way it’s always a hoot. well, here was my fortune tonight.
“You have a reputation for being straight-forward and honest”
...in bed
Monday, February 11, 2008
"...put on my blue suede shoes and i boarded the plane..."
sometimes its just great to be away. and not necessarily away from any one person or thing. but just away. really! try it. 
the best cure for the rat race ritual rut is simply to change.
i know it’s scary!
but try it.
i recently had a conversation with my brother on the subject of just how scary change is. even potentially beneficial change is met with trepidation. it’s all questions with very little answers.
who will i become?
where will this lead?
will i miss the familiar?
will the risk of change pan out to something good for me?
will i be asked to do something i can’t handle?
my brother says he too fears change of any kind. yet we both came to the same conclusion that being able to advance means being able to be the one who enacts the change.
but today i realized that change can be as easy as a direction of thought. change your mind. that’s why i’m advocating the earlier said “away.” away does wonders for your eyes, your mind, and as a result, your soul.
today’s “away” came to me in the form of a flight from Denver to Memphis. maybe not the exotic location you were just imagining. but it is away. and from 33,000 ft nothing on earth can touch you. and therefore can’t possible matter.
i’m away.
it maybe the flight of beers i had at the Left Hand Brewery in Denver with Lindsay, but i feel good. i’m so addicted to travel. i want to go everywhere, do and see everything. no experience is out of question.
it was great to see Lindsay also. haven’t see her since Love Parade last September in San Fransico. i told her i’m already counting the days until the next one. “is it too soon for that?” i asked. she said she started counting the day we left. right then we decided we’d cut the wait time by making a pilgrimage to Napa in the spring. that may tie us over for a little while?
see? i’m already planning the next “away.”
good times.
was a little disappointed with Memphis. only because Graceland is closed for the entire month of February! what’s up with that? i was so ready to blog about seeing “the ghost of Elvis!” without a car i was most definitely “walking in memphis,” however.
so i worked in that line anyway.
but i began this saying that it’s not always about the destination or the activity. it was awesome to be away. to just be with the man who i know loves me.
and get that breath of different air.
and regroup.
and start to change...
the best cure for the rat race ritual rut is simply to change.i know it’s scary!
but try it.
i recently had a conversation with my brother on the subject of just how scary change is. even potentially beneficial change is met with trepidation. it’s all questions with very little answers.
who will i become?
where will this lead?
will i miss the familiar?
will the risk of change pan out to something good for me?
will i be asked to do something i can’t handle?
my brother says he too fears change of any kind. yet we both came to the same conclusion that being able to advance means being able to be the one who enacts the change.
but today i realized that change can be as easy as a direction of thought. change your mind. that’s why i’m advocating the earlier said “away.” away does wonders for your eyes, your mind, and as a result, your soul.
today’s “away” came to me in the form of a flight from Denver to Memphis. maybe not the exotic location you were just imagining. but it is away. and from 33,000 ft nothing on earth can touch you. and therefore can’t possible matter.
i’m away.
it maybe the flight of beers i had at the Left Hand Brewery in Denver with Lindsay, but i feel good. i’m so addicted to travel. i want to go everywhere, do and see everything. no experience is out of question.
it was great to see Lindsay also. haven’t see her since Love Parade last September in San Fransico. i told her i’m already counting the days until the next one. “is it too soon for that?” i asked. she said she started counting the day we left. right then we decided we’d cut the wait time by making a pilgrimage to Napa in the spring. that may tie us over for a little while?
see? i’m already planning the next “away.”
good times.
was a little disappointed with Memphis. only because Graceland is closed for the entire month of February! what’s up with that? i was so ready to blog about seeing “the ghost of Elvis!” without a car i was most definitely “walking in memphis,” however.
so i worked in that line anyway.
but i began this saying that it’s not always about the destination or the activity. it was awesome to be away. to just be with the man who i know loves me.
and get that breath of different air.
and regroup.
and start to change...
Friday, January 25, 2008
fallen comrade
i haven't posted in nearly a month and a half.
i have been taking a moment of silence for a fellow blogger. i can't get into the story, but maybe someday i can. a blogging friend of mine had to take down his blog because of some very ignorant people who wanted to exploit his postings. and still wish him harm.
so in remembrance of the death of a blog which i and many other folks enjoyed, i took some time off. not sure i really feel like blogging again. and i feel a little unprotected by the fine folks at google. however, i keep thinking of things that i want to say. as a writer i will always have the need to express and communicate.
so look for something soon?
...
Monday, December 17, 2007
"...these are my seats. I give them to people who like music..."
How can I possibly write a post about seeing Tori Amos on tour and do it justice? There's no way I can say enough! Nevertheless, this is going to be a marathon post. Are you ready? Here we go:
Last Wednesday, Freddy and I went out to San Diego. This trip had been planned for months and I thought it was never going to be time. He surprised me with tickets to see Tori. So the wait for December 12th began.
I hadn’t been in the San Diego airport since January of 1994. I didn’t remember it at all. What I do remember is how my parents told me my life would be ruined if I went to California on that trip. I was willing to take that chance. They were right. California got stuck in my brain and I have been trying to go back as often as I can.
After we arrived and checked into our hotel, we decided to take a look around the “old town” area. We saw some really neat looking houses.
Walking around the funny little street with all the tourist trinket shops we ran into a Mexican restaurant called “FRED’s” I was so excited. We HAD to eat here! So we had a couple margaritas and quesadillas and brought home a souvenir glass! I love it!
The show that night was amazing in so many ways. Anticipation proved to be too much for me. Unable to stay in my seat, I went to the front to check out the stage and Tori’s Bösendorfer piano.
This guy opened for Tori. His name is Yoav. I think. He said his name 42 times, but I never understood it. He was really cool actually. Everyone really seemed to enjoy him. Loved the British accent. Maybe I'm an Anglophile like Tori?
There was a brief wait. Then the lights went down again. Everyone screamed. I was holding my breath scanning the stage to see which of the Dolls would be coming out tonight. (if you’re STILL not caught up on who the Dolls are, see my previous Tori post.)
Then someone in the balcony screamed. The curtain parted and Santa came out and danced around the stage as the band played.
She open into Body and Soul. After She’s Your Cocaine she took a break to pour mojitos to the band.
Next Hoochie Woman and Raspberry Swirl, and then Santa was gone. Wait. Gone? No! Come back! Santa only did four songs.
After a brief break the curtain parted again! I was expecting to see Tori, but I was shocked to see Isobel! I assumed from the crazy cheers that went up that the rest of the people were shocked as well. San Diego was the only time on the entire tour that there was more than one of the Dolls in a show.
Isobel open with Yo George. The lighting was amazing all night and Yo George was one of my favorites. It looked like an abstract American flag. It was perfect for that song.
Isobel also did Mountain, Tombigbee, and Scarlett’s Walk.
Then there was the Professional Widow (remix) intermission. It was so much fun.
After the break Tori came back to Big Wheel, Cornflake Girl, and the Doughnut Song.
The band took a break and left for the T & Bö section. It was so amazing! Tori gets so much out of a piano. Her passion and energy is very addicting.
She did a little improvisation then launched into Twinkle and an unscheduled (!) Leather. I LOVE that song! I especially get a huge kick out watching Tori perform it. “...if love isn’t forever and its not the weather, hand me my leather...” The expression she gets is so cute.
The band returned and continued with Your Cloud, one of my favorites from the Scarlett’s
Walk album. I think I nearly squeezed Freddy’s arm off at this point (sorry Freddy). I cried through the whole song. It’s a song about separation and how it seems impossible to do so from the love of your life. “...if the rain has to separate from itself does it say ‘pick out your cloud?’...”
Next was Virginia.
Tori ended every show on her tour with Code Red. This time, though, things went a little differently. All night there were these two women who kept wandering around the floor. They were getting drinks and chatting with each other like they were in a coffee house or something. I don’t know if this is true but someone said that when they found their way to a couple seats in the front row one of them was on her mobile chatting away. Well, it proved to be too much for Tori...
(watch the whole thing. it is an amazing performance. but especially up to two and a half minutes in.)
She kicked their asses out of the theater! It was amazing!!!! Everyone went crazy! Tori began again where she left off with a newfound i'm-not-gonna-take-it passion. Code Red was such a perfect song for this! "...what you stole i would have given freely..."
Immediately after, everyone rushed the stage to be in the front with the “people who like music!” The first encore was Precious Things and Bliss. Both are top Tori songs to me! Second (!) encore was Space Dog and Hey Jupiter. (No. I don't know whose hand that is.)
Here’s the set list that didn’t play out exactly as planned. I loved the show we got for sure!
The night was pure magic. Freddy said I didn't stop grinning the whole time.
Not ready for it to end, we went outside to wait to see if Tori would come out and say “hi.” I’m not really an autograph person, but I just want to be near Tori and say “hi back” and hear her talk to every one.
Poor Freddy waited with me in the cold for 2 hours! (Love you so much Freddy!)
I think because of earlier incident Tori didn’t relish a confrontation with the booted women. So when she did come out, she made a beeline for her bus. Honestly, I don’t blame her. Plus it was very cold that night. We did get to meet and chat with some other rabid Tori fans. That was fun.
I can’t believe her tour has come to an end. It was a really incredible show. If I could have, I totally would follow her around the countries.
Please tour again soon Tori! I love you!
Last Wednesday, Freddy and I went out to San Diego. This trip had been planned for months and I thought it was never going to be time. He surprised me with tickets to see Tori. So the wait for December 12th began.
I hadn’t been in the San Diego airport since January of 1994. I didn’t remember it at all. What I do remember is how my parents told me my life would be ruined if I went to California on that trip. I was willing to take that chance. They were right. California got stuck in my brain and I have been trying to go back as often as I can.
After we arrived and checked into our hotel, we decided to take a look around the “old town” area. We saw some really neat looking houses.
Walking around the funny little street with all the tourist trinket shops we ran into a Mexican restaurant called “FRED’s” I was so excited. We HAD to eat here! So we had a couple margaritas and quesadillas and brought home a souvenir glass! I love it!
The show that night was amazing in so many ways. Anticipation proved to be too much for me. Unable to stay in my seat, I went to the front to check out the stage and Tori’s Bösendorfer piano.
This guy opened for Tori. His name is Yoav. I think. He said his name 42 times, but I never understood it. He was really cool actually. Everyone really seemed to enjoy him. Loved the British accent. Maybe I'm an Anglophile like Tori?
There was a brief wait. Then the lights went down again. Everyone screamed. I was holding my breath scanning the stage to see which of the Dolls would be coming out tonight. (if you’re STILL not caught up on who the Dolls are, see my previous Tori post.)
Then someone in the balcony screamed. The curtain parted and Santa came out and danced around the stage as the band played.
She open into Body and Soul. After She’s Your Cocaine she took a break to pour mojitos to the band.Next Hoochie Woman and Raspberry Swirl, and then Santa was gone. Wait. Gone? No! Come back! Santa only did four songs.
After a brief break the curtain parted again! I was expecting to see Tori, but I was shocked to see Isobel! I assumed from the crazy cheers that went up that the rest of the people were shocked as well. San Diego was the only time on the entire tour that there was more than one of the Dolls in a show.Isobel open with Yo George. The lighting was amazing all night and Yo George was one of my favorites. It looked like an abstract American flag. It was perfect for that song.
Isobel also did Mountain, Tombigbee, and Scarlett’s Walk.
Then there was the Professional Widow (remix) intermission. It was so much fun.
After the break Tori came back to Big Wheel, Cornflake Girl, and the Doughnut Song.
The band took a break and left for the T & Bö section. It was so amazing! Tori gets so much out of a piano. Her passion and energy is very addicting.
She did a little improvisation then launched into Twinkle and an unscheduled (!) Leather. I LOVE that song! I especially get a huge kick out watching Tori perform it. “...if love isn’t forever and its not the weather, hand me my leather...” The expression she gets is so cute.
The band returned and continued with Your Cloud, one of my favorites from the Scarlett’s
Walk album. I think I nearly squeezed Freddy’s arm off at this point (sorry Freddy). I cried through the whole song. It’s a song about separation and how it seems impossible to do so from the love of your life. “...if the rain has to separate from itself does it say ‘pick out your cloud?’...”Next was Virginia.
Tori ended every show on her tour with Code Red. This time, though, things went a little differently. All night there were these two women who kept wandering around the floor. They were getting drinks and chatting with each other like they were in a coffee house or something. I don’t know if this is true but someone said that when they found their way to a couple seats in the front row one of them was on her mobile chatting away. Well, it proved to be too much for Tori...
(watch the whole thing. it is an amazing performance. but especially up to two and a half minutes in.)
She kicked their asses out of the theater! It was amazing!!!! Everyone went crazy! Tori began again where she left off with a newfound i'm-not-gonna-take-it passion. Code Red was such a perfect song for this! "...what you stole i would have given freely..."
Immediately after, everyone rushed the stage to be in the front with the “people who like music!” The first encore was Precious Things and Bliss. Both are top Tori songs to me! Second (!) encore was Space Dog and Hey Jupiter. (No. I don't know whose hand that is.)
Here’s the set list that didn’t play out exactly as planned. I loved the show we got for sure!
The night was pure magic. Freddy said I didn't stop grinning the whole time.
Not ready for it to end, we went outside to wait to see if Tori would come out and say “hi.” I’m not really an autograph person, but I just want to be near Tori and say “hi back” and hear her talk to every one.
Poor Freddy waited with me in the cold for 2 hours! (Love you so much Freddy!)I think because of earlier incident Tori didn’t relish a confrontation with the booted women. So when she did come out, she made a beeline for her bus. Honestly, I don’t blame her. Plus it was very cold that night. We did get to meet and chat with some other rabid Tori fans. That was fun.
I can’t believe her tour has come to an end. It was a really incredible show. If I could have, I totally would follow her around the countries.
Please tour again soon Tori! I love you!
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