Tuesday everyone left me. and did I panic?
yes I did.
seriously though...
I had an awesome extended weekend with two friends (who wish to remain anonymous) and my love. We had fun catching up and cooking and planning our next meet-up (complete with costumes ...more on that in Oct).
We went shopping at Ikea. They don’t have one in their city. It was a touch-everything good time had by all. I was scolded for getting into one of the beds. Later in the parking lot, a woman rolling forward in her SUV without looking tried to run me over. She got the “wtf?” look while my companions laughed their asses off by the car.
On Monday we went to an Indian restaurant with our friend Maryanne. I really have come to love Indian food. One of my favorite things to do is eat out with friends. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter where (within reason). It’s really about the conversation and connection to great friends.
I savored the last moments with these friends Monday night.
Then Tuesday morning came, and one at a time everyone left me. You know that saying about not knowing what you have until it’s gone? Well, it’s not exactly like that. I’ve always appreciated these very special humans in my life. I did, however, have some things to think about for the rest of Tuesday.
So here it is:
I’ve come to realize that there are advantages to being rejected by your biological family. You get to choose your own! Rather, sometimes they choose you. Life becomes a “choose your own adventure” of sorts. Yes, there is a bright side to your family telling you to go to hell every time you speak to them.
For my “birthday” my parents gave me the first present they have given me in probably 15 years. It’s a lovely (faux) leather Bible and it’s really a gift to themselves. This book I received in August. My birthday is in April. At least the got the first letter of the month correct. Inside were inscriptions with instructions to read and learn how to fix my broken soul.
My father, who has beaten his offspring to the point of broken bones, left me this gem:
“Sin will keep you from this book, but this book will keep you from sin.” I wonder if he thought of this book as he punched me in the face in front of the church when I was 15 then left me there bloody and swollen.
My mother wrote,
“I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth.” This is coming from the woman who lies every time she is asked by the police or friends about things that have gone on in her home. This is the same woman who couldn’t stop gossiping and spreading hate to save her life. (I’d say “for a million dollars,” but I know that she is definitely motivated by money.)
So truth it is, but I’m sure it isn’t this brand of truth they were wanting. Still, it’s truth, although I’m actually keeping it very mild for the purposes of this blog.
Don’t want to go too far.
My point in this is that I’ve been given the best gift from the universe. I’ve been given the opportunity to choose a custom family of my own. I realized this standing with our visitors in our kitchen. We were assembly-lining the jalepeños for frying: I prepared the sliced peppers, then another put on the egg and panko, while another fried them. Someone was also making sauces for dipping. In the middle, I was struck with this thought, "THIS is my family!"
I have an amazing group of friends. I am grateful for the fun, intelligent, grounded, talented, supportive, and forgiving peeps in my life.
My choose-your-own-adventure family has never left me bloody on the ground. We have never told each other to go to hell. We would never tell someone they are a failure at life. We don’t love conditionally. We do things for each other that help us get through this life.
I love my modern new-fangled family
and they
actually do love me.