It's weird the things you think of at weird random times... (qotd:112307)

take tonight for instance...

It started when I was walking into the bedroom. Suddenly I hear the one sound that strikes more fear into my heart than any other sound I have heard recently.

“hmgggh. hmmggngh. hmngggkggh. ckk ckck hmckkk”

A chill went up my spine. Then down again. I look under the bed and there’s The Cat (Herman) preparing to hack something up. “omg!” I’m yelling, “GET OUT of there!” I yank the bed out to grab him.

Too late. There’s already a yellow and brown puddle with flecks of greenery. I can still recognize the food he was begging me for not an hour earlier. It’s no wonder he’s barfy! I don’t think he ever chews. And that smell! I turn away making a similar gagging noise of my own.

Then I see him running away. Not wanting him to create a secondary crime scene, I follow. He runs into the kitchen.... “NO! Don’t go in there!” Before I can grab him, he is in the cabinet (He can open the cabinets. It’s his favorite hiding place.). I open the door to make sure he’s not barfing in there.

“Hissssssss” This sound I’m totally used to. It doesn’t startle me anymore. It has now become The Cat’s standard greeting for me. Then the screaming...
Have you ever heard a cat scream like a child being poked with needles? I have video if you’d like to.

Now this particular cabinet is not shallow. It’s more than half of my body length deep. And I’m over six feet tall. I really don’t want to have to get inside it to clean up after sick cat. Again. So I wrap a towel (for the biting) around my arm and reach in.
A few attempts and a few scrapes later, I finally pull him out.

Then I recognize another smell. It is distinctive to this particular animal. If you smell it you will never say, “Is there an elephant around? Cows? a dog perhaps?” No (though you may wish it was one of the above) that is the distinctive smell of cat poop!

“oh god oh god ohgodohgod...”
The Cat, the towel, and anything in between is covered in poop. Still holding onto The Cat, I check my person. Nothing on me. Okay...
OMG! There’s some on my exposed finger!

I start to hum to myself to distract myself from hurling. It’s the same way I used hum when doing my paper route at 5am in Wisconsin in the dark to keep from getting scared. “hm hmm hm hmm hm hmhm hm hm hmhmhmhmhm...”

I take The Cat into the bathroom with outstretched arms, watching for drips. I set him in the tub and close the door behind me and run to the sink to scrub like I’ve never scrubbed before. Then I return to the bathroom where The Cat is now out of the tub running around. Aaaargh!

“You brought this on yourself kitty.”

He was surprisingly quiet. Went like a real trooper. He accepted his fate like a brave solider. But I guess he was probably just as happy as I to be poop free. And he didn’t make a peep through the entire bath. Yes, I gave The Cat a bath. And he squirmed a little and tried to get out. But overall he was silent the whole time.

Having him cleaned, I put him in the laundry room by his liter and water. I put on rubber cleaning gloves and entered the kitchen. Peering inside the cabinet, I suddenly realize I’m going to have to crawl in there to clean it.

I start to hum again.
And I was tempted to leave it for Freddy. The Cat, after all, is his animal. Then I remember he won’t be home until Tuesday. It can’t stay there that long. damn.

More humming... That’s when I realized what I was humming. “...mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord... He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored... He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword... His truth is marching on... glory glory hallelujah...” The Battle Hymn of the Republic?

I spent the rest of the clean up inside the pretty place in my head. Distracted by the task of trying to remember all the lyrics. It really is strange what your mind will bring up in times of stress or discomfort. weird.

After showering in hydrogen peroxide, I treated myself to cheese and olives dipped in sour cream and hot sauce. I deserved it.

i statements (qotd:112107)

so i just realized that it has been a month (!) since my last post. it’s funny (ironic?) that my last post was “then i sat down and started writing...” the thing is that i really did do just that. i have been writing, just not to this blog. i’ve had things i wanted to write, but didn’t sit down and take the time. i have been too busy writing to write.

i’ve also been buried deep within my own head. so far in i can’t see straight. it’s really hard to believe in your goals and yourself all the time. it’s even harder when those who are suppose to be “near-and-dear” tell you that you won’t make it.

just last night someone said to me, “so if you never get to do this thing that you want to do, what else do you want to do?” translation: what’s your back-up? ‘cause you ain’t makin’ it! my answer was nothing. i believe that having a back-up is setting yourself up to quit or fail. and i’ve done that back-up thing too long. now is the time to just do it.

as yoda famously said: “there is no try. only do or do not.”

then, after telling another friend what i’m doing in the pursuit of my goals, this friend starts telling me to go back to school and get another degree! aghast, i replied, “i still owe a mountain of money for my last degree!” and just because it may be a more practical vocation does not make it something i want to do. in fact, the practicality of it is what turns me off about it.

and then there’s the issue of certain family who don’t understand why i don’t want to move to north carolina, video-tape weddings and make wedding cakes (even though they will never be supportive of my people getting married), or find a meaningless job at a soulless corporation just to live. that’s not living. that’s passing time waiting to die.

there is no way i could hate any of these people though. in their ways, they all just want what they think is the best for me.

but i have come to realize one thing. really i’m realizing it again. it’s something that is always preached. and its something that i’ve always known. but suddenly i’m taking in the full meaning of it.

i am the only one who knows my path.
i am the only one who can accomplish my goals.
i am the only one with the will power to take action.
i am the only one that will help me.
i am the only one who can believe in me.
i am the only one who knows that i’m going to get there.

everyone else has their own issues, their own problems, their own motivations, their own success, and their own life to worry about.

my new mantra: i have to make it happen.